Wisdom is the prime thing

These were some of my favorite books as a kid. Recently a workmate made a reference to these books, and I started considering picking one up and reading it through. The one I bought is the one shown here, “Mystery of the Maya”.

What’s so great about these books?

These books are wonderful reading material for children.

1. The books are educational, teaching them about new lands, peoples, and history.

2. They encourage creativity. I remember one summer sitting down and making my own “Choose Your Own Adventure”. I still recall drawing a flowchart of the stories and how they fork and interrelate. What a tremendous project for a child to be engaged in!

3. It requires introspection and exercises problem-solving skills. You have to weigh different options and facts, and make decisions that affect you (your character) and those around you.

All great reasons to get an 8-year old started on this series!

These days kids sit in front of television sets, spending 4+ hours a day with little or no mental stimulus. Books like these that stir up creativity and instill a love of reading in children are worth their weight in gold. If a few of these books get a child to see how much fun a book can be and the thrill of experiencing adventures through reading, it is well worth the $7 one of these gems costs.

Coincident with a trip to Alaska, I picked up this eponymous book by James A. Michener. Previously I had heard his name before, but I was unfamiliar with his work. This book was a great introduction to this author. He is a popular author of some 40 titles.

His historical fiction is always well-researched and interesting — two of the most important characteristics of historical fiction. He blends fact and fiction so well that immediately after the Table of Contents, he spends a couple pages quickly informing you which characters, places, and events are real and which are fictional. Indeed, without this handy summary you would be hard-pressed to distinguish the two from his account. It was neat to visit a place in Alaska and see how things are done, and then that night read an accurate description in his book of the very same things.

Content

The scope of the book is impressive. Where do you start in addressing the history of the great land that is Alaska (”Great Land”, he explains, is the word from whence we derive “Alaska”)? He begins farther back than I would have guessed. The first chapter, entitled “The Clashing Terranes”, details the movements of the tectonic plates that scientists believe gave rise to the landmasses now defining Alaska. It details the appearance of the Aleutian chain as well as the Alaska range to the north.

Some of the details given in the book were disturbing, but alas! such is human history. For instance, the treatment of the Alaskan natives by the Russians is appalling. The following paragraph from the end of Chapter 5 provides an idea of what occurred:

When Vitus Bering’s men first stepped ashore on the Aleutians in 1741, the islands contained eighteen thousand, five hundred healthy men and women who had adapted masterfully to their treeless but sea-rich environment. When the Russians departed, the total population was less than twelve hundred. Ninety-four percent had been starved, drowned, forced into slavery, murdered, or otherwise disposed of in the Bering Sea. And even those few who survived … did so only by merging themselves into the victorious civilization.

The most gruesome story in the book, based on an actual historical incident, is in Chapter 4 (page 139 in my edition):

Utilizing three of the willing Russian traders, he had them choose at random twelve Aleut hunters, who were lined up one behind the other, with the man who had started the protest in front. When each Aleut was prodded forward so that he stood tightly wedged against the man in front, Innokenti cried: ‘We’ll show them what a good Russian musket can do,’ and he loaded his gun heavily, moved close to the head of the file, and took careful aim right at the heart of that first troublemaker…

Then, with icy rage he fired, and eight Aleuts, one after the other, dropped dead while the ninth fainted, for the bullet had ended against his ribs. The final three stood transfixed.

Stories like this fill one with immense disgust and remorse over the ugliness that characterizes so much of human history. Thankfully the book is filled with many more enjoyable stories of friendship and the wonder of the beautiful Alaskan country.

Summary

All in all, I enjoyed this book immensely. The last 100 pages — my edition has less than 900 — took me a while to complete, but I’m not convinced that was due to any fault of the author. Considering that I have not read any substantial work of fiction in years, I was impressed by this book’s ability to maintain my interest.

I highly recommend this book and am looking forward to reading more of Michener’s works in the future.

When I first picked up this book, I was impressed. I remember thinking it was a great book, but came to me too late, since I had come up with very similar conclusions and views on my own. Which was unfortunate, because what took me a few years to figure out could have been gained in weeks with this book.

What is a “crucial conversation”?

The authors explain that it is any conversation where stakes are high, opinions differ, and emotions run high. These types of conversations occur all the time. And they are the most important conversations you will ever have. The book’s premise is that it is your ability to handle these crucial conversations that — to a great degree — determine your happiness and success in life.

“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High” is a tremendous book. There are plenty of gems throughout that make the book as a whole well worth the read. I really enjoyed the humor in the beginning of the book, and wish they would have kept it up through the whole text.

Overall, a highly recommended read. Now for my favorite passages.

Highlights

• Page 33 - Ask yourself, “What do I really want here?”

  So often we forget about what we really want, and so our behavior isn’t aligned with our long-term goals. A more teleogical approach ensures that we are working for — and not against — what we really want.

  A good example is a crucial conversation with a loved one. When all is said and done, ‘what do I really want?’ To prove the other party wrong? To prove that I’m right? Probably not. What I probably really want is to have a good relationship with this person and open lines of communication. Coming to grips with our over-arching purpose can make a world of difference in our approach and the outcome of crucial conversations.

• Page 40 - Search for the “And”

  Have you ever been around people who have to start off every sentence by contradicting your last assertion? It’s a frustrating experience. It’s far better to look for something to agree with, and then append your thoughts. Thus, you are searching for the “And…”

• Page 48 - Spot your physical signals

  Do you know when you are in a crucial conversation? What are the physiological telltale signs for you? Get to know them so that you can switch yourself into “crucial conversation” mode.

• Page 49 - When it’s safe, you can say anything and take anything

  Well put. When the “pool of meaning” is open and flowing freely, even the most difficult topics can be broached successfully. The goal, then, becomes to make the pool safe enough for the demands the crucial conversation will put on it.

• Page 51 - Silence and violence means someone feels unsafe

  When the person you are speaking with starts pulling out (silence), or attacking (violence), it’s because he doesn’t feel safe. You need to make him feel that he can trust dialogue in order to get him back into it. This is a helpful paradigm when someone starts attacking, I’ve found. It helps you look past the frustrating behavior and attach a more helpful and promising diagnosis to the underlying issue.

• Page 69 - Mutual Purpose - do they trust my motives?

• Page 72 - Do others believe I respect them?

• Page 72 - Forgive those who sin differently than you.

• Page 77 - Contrasting technique.

  This is brilliant. Use a negative/positive construction to make dialogue safe again. Always remember “safety first”.

  For instance, if you notice that emotions are getting heated, step back and use contrasting. First the “don’t” part: “Now I’m not saying I don’t appreciate everything you do around here. I’m very grateful for how much you help here in the office.” Now for the “do” part: “What I am saying is that I was bothered by the mess you left on my desk this morning”.

  Contrasting helps to clarify misperceptions, and pinpoint our meaning.

• Page 109 - Watch for “clever stories” when we’ve sold out

  Sometimes we vilify the other party, as a way to exculpate ourselves. Or we act like the other party is stupid, and that there is no reason to engage in dialogue. Oftentimes these are mere cop-outs, “clever stories”, that just mask our own failing to rise to the challenge.

• Page 114 - “What do I really want? What would I do right now if that is the case?”

In summary

This is a tremendous book, and highly recommended.

This is a great book for children, written by Susan Butcher and her husband David Monson. It tells the true story of Susan Butcher, four-time Iditarod winner, and her beloved lead dog, Granite. Definitely recommended. Or buy one for a child you know that would be touched by this heartwarming story.

“Getting to Yes - Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In” — truly a masterpiece.

The book is based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project. The book explains and demonstrates techniques that are applicable to a wide range of human interactions: from negotiating rent to arbitrating disputes to negotiating with terrorists in hostage situations. The scope of the book is really that wide, and the examples given help to widen your horizons to look for applications in your every-day life.

A key of the book is that “positional bargaining” — what we usually associate with the term “negotiating” — is problematic and leads to suboptimal solutions. They use the illustration of two children fighting over the orange and eventually deciding to split it. One child throws away the peel because he only wanted to eat the orange. One child keeps the peel and throws everything else away because he only needed the peel for cooking. Taking hard positions and entrenching yourself in them only leads to more difficulties and solutions that do not fully meet all needs of both parties in the most convenient way.

Their solution? Principle-based negotiation. The goal being to efficiently reach an amicable agreement.

The cornerstone of the book is the four basic tenets of principle-based negotiation:

1. Separate the people from the problem. Confront head-on your relationship with the people you are negotiating with. Keep those issues in the forefront of your mind at all time. What are their motivations? How do your proposals affect their view of themselves or others’ view of them? Are you really listening to them in such a way that they feel listened to? What are their perceptions of the situation?

2. Focus on interests, not on positions. Be hard on the issues but soft on the people. Lay out clearly what your interests are and help the other side to do the same. Don’t allow yourself to get entrenched in a position, and try to prevent the other side from doing the same.

3. Invent options for mutual gain. Brainstorm in such a way that all sides know there is no commitment. Frame your sentences and proposals in such a way that it encourages participation. Without participation there is no commitment. Be firmly convinced that there is a solution available that fairly and honestly meets the underlying needs of everyone involved, and work hard to find it.

4. Insist on using objective criteria. Instead of getting into altercations over whose criteria for “fair” should be used, insist on using external criteria from an unbiased party. “Never yield to pressure, only principle.”

What if the other side is more powerful?

Know your BATNA — best alternative to a negotiated agreement — before you walk in to any negotiation. Know exactly what you will do if the negotiation fails to provide a fair solution that meets your needs. When you know what your BATNA is, that will either give you more leverage to influence the other side, or it will help you work harder and find more options for yourself.

What if they won’t play?

This section of the book was my favorite. Some of the approaches they use are brilliant and can be used in so many situations in real life. They take a real-life negotiation with an adjuster in an insurance claim, and analyze the conversation to show how the claimant uses principle-based negotiation skills to effect an amicable solution. After each sentence, they break down exactly why his approach worked and what the motivation was. Very instructive.

What if they use dirty tricks?

Again, a power-packed chapter. Some tactics, such as “good-guy-bad guy-routine”, I had never even labeled the way they do — negotiation sabotage. They show exactly how a number of situations could be dealt with. They even discuss things like the other side puts you in a chair where you are looking into the sun, or spilling coffee on your clothes. So many things I’ve never even thought of. In all cases, they come back to the same basic idea: address the negotiation issue as a substantive issue as part of your negotiation. Address it head-on and in the same principle-based way you are negotiating everything else.

In conclusion?

This is a tremendous book, and it’s no wonder it was a national bestseller. The Harvard Negotiation Project has spawned some other tremendous books as well, which I hope to be examining as time permits. This book is imminently practical, providing the theoretical basis, and then using numerous dialogues to exemplify the principles under consideration.

Well written and a real treat to read.

Thoreau’s “Walking” is a posthumously-published essay. It deals initially with walking, but eventually with preserving the “Wildness” of nature, and thus preserving the human spirit. Its most famous line is:

… in Wildness is the preservation of the World.

Here are my favorite quotes from his essay.

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This is an excellent book that combines tips for the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of running a marathon, making a marathon accessible and enjoyable for the non-runner. This book really is a pleasure to read, and I highly recommend it.

The book has three authors, each of whom makes a unique contribution to the book. Each chapter is broken up into three sections: one for the physical side of the week’s training; one for the psychological aspect; and one for presenting stories of first-time marathoners who have used this course.

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This book, The Stars: A New Way to See Them by H. A. Rey gets my absolute highest marks. This book is a masterpiece that I firmly believe every child should receive as a gift at an early age and have read to him at night.

If I was stranded on a desert island, after the Bible, this would be the second book I want to have.

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I just finished reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I have had this book recommended to me so many times, and I finally decided to sit down and read the five-book trilogy.

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Shakespeare wrote comedies, tragedies, and histories. His comedies and tragedies I have enjoyed many times. But his histories I have avoided where at all possible. Lately, with my increasing interest in history, I decided to give one of his histories a try. I started with Henry V, which has been on my mind lately. It has a speech that I consider one of the most inspiring speeches I have ever read or heard.

Shakespeare’s histories are not as engaging (for me at least) as his other works. But, some of his lines are brilliant enough to make up for all perceived lackings in the story. Here are my favorites from Henry V.

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